Thing of The Day

Remember that different things bother everybody. For people with mental health holidays are hard but I didn't even think of this. Please be respectful of it

Thing of The Day

Hi I think that this is very important to remember

Drawing of The Day/Challenge

So I decided for the next year I will be doing a drawing of the day it might be a challenge it might be a theme I don't know yet. I also signed up for a 30 day sketchbook challenge. Here are the two drawings
It is a bee

This is my drawing of the day. I know the little people aren't great. It says Using skills is like running a race. If you don't validate your feelings first it is like a false start and you have to start over.

Mental health art and some other things

Hey so I have drawn a few pieces that have some relation to mental health. Here the are, most of these are just sketches

So if anyone here has seen the movie it is kind of a funny story than they know what a mind map is this is just a sketch I did one day

The line in his mouth is supposed to be a frown. I know a lot of people hide being sad. It is okay to be sad you don't always have to be the perfect person

 weird fish with a lot of love

 This is based on my metaphor (I know the people are not great). If you want to start using skills you have to validate your feelings first. Otherwise it is like a false start and you have to start the race over. This is much easier said than done

 So I guess you don't have to fly but it is a lot faster. My point it that whenever I am at the airport something seems to go wrong. Flying also scares a lot of people. But once that plane gets in the air there is nothing you can do about it until the plane lands

Lastly this wolf picture that says baby steps on the bottom

Thing of The Day May 14 an important article

Hi everybody,
This article is really great you should all check it out What BPD can be like

It really does suck but

Having BPD (or any mental illness for that matter) absolutely sucks.
You get really stressed over lots of things. You can't see in the middle, everything is black and white. Your feelings are always extreme. Relationships (of any kind are extremely hard) oh and by the way you never asked for it. People are always saying things like everybody has problemsm or really stupid things like toughen up or males don't ask for help.
Living with mental illness is never something I asked for. Mental illness is something I was born with. Every piece of advice is easier said than done. My "job" is probably harder than yours. Because it is controlling my thoughts and I can't swipe out or take a 9 to 5 shift. I can't control my body for the most part. The easiest way to say it is: It sucks and it is really hard. Some people will see radical acceptance and think that I will be saying that is the solution. Radical acceptance is saying I can't control it but I have to get through it anyway.  Anybody who thinks that is what I am going to say will first think I am crazy I am not a fan of radical acceptance. But I am ABSOLUTELY NOT going to say that.
BUT,
It is what it is. And life is really hard. The negativity is t here a lot. So all I ask is anybody with depression, anxiety or BPD in particular all I say is this: if there is something positive then embrace it. Don't think about when it is going to end or who is going to mess it up. Just grab it and hold on to it.
I have had a really hard time lately. But, there are some really really good and exciting things coming up and honestly it is more fun embracing those things that letting the negative things cling onto you.

I don't know why I want to write this now. But, I feel that while people don't know how hard it is for people that embracing the positives is something everyone can do.

Really cool mental health drawing

So for people with BPD one of the biggest problems is abandonment so I drew this

It didn't come out perfect but it is supposed to be someone hugging a sad person and these are all things that show your friend(s) won't abandon you. I know it is hard it really is. That just gave me another idea but I hope you enjoy it

Type of Support People With BPD Want When they are down and ask for your help

Hi everyone,
So yesterday I talked about what it is like to have a friend with BPD. But, if somebody is having a hard time handling what do they want or don't want? Here are some suggestions (this is similar to my article What not to say to somebody when they are down) But this is BPD specific and is mostly things you can do.

• Hug: Obviously only touchy feely people for this one. But sometimes just a hug (I have written about tangibleness before) knowing someone is there and is warm. 
• Go outside or take a walk: So I live in the Northeast and most of the time it is cold at night. It is proven scientifically that cold or a change gives endorphins to the brain
• Talk... but about other topics: So obviously they want too tell you what is going on but they shouldn't dwell and ruminate on it. While there is no specific topic you should talk about something light is better and if that doesn't work...
• ...well doctors are sometimes available: So a lot of doctors have pagers for just this reason. So you can ask can I call the doctor. One key to know: A lot if not all DBT/BPD doctors when they get that page they are not supposed to talk about the problems they are supposed to talk about how to get through that moment and what skills to use. Also, as a friend or parent if a doctor says to help the person you need to do this it doesn't help if you ask the doctor for help and don't listen to them well that helps nobody.
• Know their skill order: Some people go right to friends first so it is not as big of a deal and you can say what skills have you tried but if you know that they use skills first you can ask but don't pester them about it.
• Make sure they are healthy: So if they are not eating than a lot of times they will get more stressed
• Be a support...especially parents: Don't pester about what is going wrong again that is a doctor's job. I don't care if you are a doctor, as a parent I say this all the time: A pediatrician or a cardiologist may be a doctor that doesn't mean they know anything about BPD or how to handle that.  So be a support not someone who makes it worse. 
• Know what works: So let's say they have lots of skills but you are a video game friend, well that is what you should do. I am not saying it works every time but you know what works. 
• Know your town: So what does this have to do with anything? Well actually it is incredibly important. Let's say you are in Pittsburgh and then in Meadville (it is a small town about an hour and a half away from Pittsburgh). Well I love Meadville but there is a lot less medical help there so they are more likely to rely on friends. 
• Know there style: Does it help just to talk on the phone or does it have to be person to person? You need to know what works.
• Set boundaries and don't be the only one: Okay this one is hard to write but you can only help if you are healthy yourself. For me personally I would rather have a person be honest that have them go around the bush until they burn out. It is not fair if they are calling you all the time at 3 am in the morning. But you need to tell them what works.  There is a saying honesty is the best policy and for me that has been true.
• Find people close: SO I have been working on this one. It is great to have friends from other places but if I am in NYC and you are in LA there is only so much you can do. 
• But know that it is different in a way: So most friends don't call at 3 in the morning but know if you called them they would do anything to help you too.
• Lastly... be a friend: You don't have to have all the answers but they don't expect that it is almost the idea of do the short term and not the long term. They just want help getting through that night. 

So this got a lot more specific than I thought. But I hope it helps. Let me know if you have a question and I will try to answer it to the best of my ability.

Should celebrities and athletes in particular be role models?

So at first I wanted to write an article about whether celebrities (athletes in particular) but celebrities should be almost obligated advocates for things like domestic violence, mental health awareness and awareness of things the media won't reveal. But first before I could think should they go over the top I had to think should they be role models in the first place.
These thoughts started years ago when I was watching one of my favorite TV shows, Top 5 Reasons You Can't Blame  and it was about a commercial done in 1993 for Nike. Charles Barkley was in the commercial and he said I am not a role model. Barkley, at the peak of his career, outraged a lot of the public. So should celebrities be role models? My answer is no but it is more complicated than that.
First of all, it is not black and white. Athletes can be role models sometimes and not other times. Celebrities change. Sometimes they will be great role models for the camera. For example, Brandon Marshall is a huge advocate like mental illness but he had legal problems at points he was not always a role model.
I will focus mostly on sports because of the amazing amount of people that watch sports and that is kind of one of the areas I know best.  But here it goes this my reasoning.
So first of all it needs to be considered that we like to support a team. So athletes might not be a good person or a good role model but they are in their hometown. Is it expecting too much of celebrities to be perfect role models? I think it is. Also as said people change.
Another thing is that with social media and just how we view celebrities they don't get a private moment very often. So Ariana Grande said some things that led to outrage. But, she was in an elevator. You would think that you would have privacy there.
But there is more to consider. Some people might just be quiet and not very good advocates.
But there are three big reasons. First back to the TV show about Charles Barkley the number one reason that you couldn't blame him for not being a role model was simple: He wasn't a role model. If we expect celebrities to be role models people might have role models that shouldn't actually be them.
2nd, we wouldn't appreciate the people who are role models and are advocates for what is right. We would not know who was real and who was fake.
Lastly, and most importantly, what exactly should a role model be. To me I have respect for Demi Lovato because she is a huge advocate for mental health. But, I also like her because she is real. She doesn't try to act perfect. But, if you have a 5 year old do you really want them to see all the struggles? I wouldn't.
So to answer this question there are two part: No we shouldn't expect them to be and we should be more appreciative of the ones that are. Celebrities are just people they are just a sample of the population. I don't know if this answers the question but maybe it gets people thinking.

Thing of the day April 16th Putting on The Goggles

So when I was in drivers ed they made me put in these goggles to show me what it is like to be drunk. Well they don't have those for panic attacks. People always are asking what it is like and for me it iis something that is very hard to explain.
Panic attacks are like snowflakes. Everyone and everybody's are different. But this is mine
When you read this you need to be CALM. I know this sounds weird but this could be a very emotional article.

Okay here we go

Imagine the feeling that you don't know how you will get to the next minute let alone the next day. You want help but to be honest the only thing you really want them to do is make the panic go away. Panic attacks can last anywhere from 5 minutes to 4 hours.
You are breathing heavily, heart palpitating, stomach hurling. It is an overall feeling of hopelessness. You would give up your arm for it to go away.
Panic attacks, a lot of times they are not triggered by one thing they just come and attack you.
For me when I have them my mind is running at infinity miles per hour but faster. It is kind of that in the way that it is very hard to explain. You just want it to end.


And that is what I have got.
This article is short because I don't want it is very emotional. But that is it. It is very scary and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
So if you know someone who has a panic attack just be there for them, support them but don't go in with hopes that you have a magic wand.
Have a good day