What to Expect in a BPD Friendship Part 2

Hi,
So I decided after how many people read the last post I wrote about this it got me thinking that there must be some more things that I am missing so I waited a while before I added another list but here it is

• Texting and messaging is so hard for them: An example yesterday somebody said what's wrong Dan? I didn't know if that meant I am really concerned what is going on. Or if it meant ughh not again what is going on? Tone can be very hard.
• Validation is needed often: A lot of times people with BPD have grown up in households where there is not a lot of validation so it means a lot when they get it. 
• BPD is rarely ever alone: Whether it is depression, anxiety, OCPD (obsessive compulsive personality disorder), dependent personality disorder. Mental illnesses usually are together in some way. 
• If they think you are more upset at them they are almost certainly more upset at themselves: People with BPD feel so much self pain. So if they think they messed up they are more upset that they messed up.
• Abandonment is a big thing: :A lot of times people have been abandoned a lot so they are always worried you will do they same
• Very hard to be in the moment: Even when there are good things a lot of times the friend is thinking about when the bad times will end.
• They would do anything to have someone they can just trust and know will be there: Obviously no friend can be there all the time but just to know somebody is with them and is there for them
• There mind is theirs: Often I have seen things where the person with BPD understands things even if nobody else does

I hope this helps in some way as said I am in a writing mood today. Have a good day.

It really does suck but

Having BPD (or any mental illness for that matter) absolutely sucks.
You get really stressed over lots of things. You can't see in the middle, everything is black and white. Your feelings are always extreme. Relationships (of any kind are extremely hard) oh and by the way you never asked for it. People are always saying things like everybody has problemsm or really stupid things like toughen up or males don't ask for help.
Living with mental illness is never something I asked for. Mental illness is something I was born with. Every piece of advice is easier said than done. My "job" is probably harder than yours. Because it is controlling my thoughts and I can't swipe out or take a 9 to 5 shift. I can't control my body for the most part. The easiest way to say it is: It sucks and it is really hard. Some people will see radical acceptance and think that I will be saying that is the solution. Radical acceptance is saying I can't control it but I have to get through it anyway.  Anybody who thinks that is what I am going to say will first think I am crazy I am not a fan of radical acceptance. But I am ABSOLUTELY NOT going to say that.
BUT,
It is what it is. And life is really hard. The negativity is t here a lot. So all I ask is anybody with depression, anxiety or BPD in particular all I say is this: if there is something positive then embrace it. Don't think about when it is going to end or who is going to mess it up. Just grab it and hold on to it.
I have had a really hard time lately. But, there are some really really good and exciting things coming up and honestly it is more fun embracing those things that letting the negative things cling onto you.

I don't know why I want to write this now. But, I feel that while people don't know how hard it is for people that embracing the positives is something everyone can do.

The Feeling of Achievement

Hi everybody so my friend today said that my drawings are getting really good and I will post some of them tomorrow. But when somebody doesn't get validation from their family stuff like that means the world.
When you do something well it is okay to beam with pride. If you are not great at it you can still beam with pride. But when you are never told that you have talent and then you are told that is makes you really happy.
Have a good night everybody

Tips on Drawing Caricatures and Even Using it as a Coping Skill

Okay so today I feel for the first time I nailed a caricature face I won't say it was perfect. The body definitely is not great but I am the imperfect artist at all. Anyway I want to give some advice on how to draw caricatures because it has been a great skill for me to use.
Before I start this is for anyone. But some things will be aimed specifically for people with mental illness (BPD in particular) or who are trying to use this as a coping skill.
Here is my caricature it is Billy Hamilton from the Reds. However this applies for all caricatures

Okay here are my tips

• If you want to draw perfect things draw self portraits: One of the cool things about caricatures is that while they should look like somebody (like I can't say this caricature looks like Queen Elizabeth) however they are not supposed to be exact. If you are using this as a skill you don't need to be a critic just try the best you can
• It really does take practice...but how you practice is up to you: Some people might want to do the same drawing over and over. Some people might want to practice body parts. Some might only do faces some might only use tutorials. But as long as you are practicing you will see improvement. 
• It is one of a kind: For me every caricature is one of a kind so I just go for it. 
• You might do everything differently and that is okay: You won't hurt my feelings (well maybe if you thought the caricature about was Queen Elizabeth but otherwise no) it should be what works for you. 
• No judgement zone: So a lot of people with BPD judge themselves. If it isn't clear THERE IS NO GRADE, NO WRONG ANSWER, NO BAD Caricature. 
• Okay for the actual drawing of them start with the head shape: For me this is what I prefer at least because it gives you a range. Some people start with the eyes but then you don't really control the size. 
• Don't start with baseball players: I mean you can but for me drawing baseball caps is really hard so start with regular hair.
• Make it yours: Use a special type of eyes. Or maybe you always use a John Cena type head (square basically). Or maybe they always have facial hair. But make it your own.  Also there are other ways. Like I combine my sports memorabilia and draw caricatures of athletes I have autographs of
• Start more basic: Only use one mouth shape. Don't use highlights. Use really basic ears. Just to start and then add that stuff. 
• Use more than one picture: So a lot of people like to use one picture. But for me to make it yours plus to get more expertise on it use more then one picture.
• Imagine the shape in your head... and then try to draw it but don't expect it: So when I see a caricature in my head it is perfect. So I will try to draw something like that but I don't expect it. 
• Start with pencil then transition to pen: You don't won't to get upset with yourself. So it makes sense to use pencil but pen becomes easier. I NEVER thought I would be able to not use pencil. I am doing that now. 
• Caricatures are arts staccato. Staccato is a musical note that is very sharp and very short. That is a caricature. You should draw very quick strokes. 
• Start with tutorials: It makes sense at first to have someone guide you through it. RowserWorld is great or you could check out my tutorial tips on this page or right here.
• Practice by just drawing faces: They don't always have to be works of art just draw random heads and faces.
• Draw people you like: Draw presidents if that what you like. I like athletes, mental health awareness celebrities, SNL people and funny actors. But that is my. Even when I used tutorials I didn't draw people from Star Wars. I don't watch Star Wars so I have no connection to it. 
• When using a tutorial it does not have to look exactly like the tutorial: READ EVERYTHING ABOVE. Every caricature is one of a kind. Also if you want to draw somebody don't be afraid to draw. I tried to draw Tony Gwynn and he ended up looking like Kel from All That. 
• The nose and eyes are important: That is the first thing people look at. 
• Draw friends: Friends that are photo friendly. That way you have lots of options and you know their facial features a little bit
• There are a few others I can think of but they seem repetitive so I have one more: SIGN YOUR NAME. Especially if you are using this as a skill this is a pride thing this is saying look I did something. 

Please remember this is my outlet: Do you have an outlet that you want to write about? Let me know and I will write about it or you can be a guest writer. 

Have a good day everybody! More to come soon

Thing of The Day April 30

Hi,
I think I will write an article on that later but there are just so many ways to express yourself. It does not just have to be an answer of words so find your outlet to express yourself.

Mental Health Drawings

So these are all on my website The Imperfect Artist but a few of the drawings I felt were too important not to put here too.
Just a little bit first so for me art is a great skill it is an outlet a chance for me to be creative with no pressure. I had an idea to do one of them and it took off.
I am going to put the specific mental health drawings on here (there is also a Brandon Marshall caricature on my website)

Okay so this first one is a thought parade the top says: These are thoughts will they be staying in your brain or are you going to let them march by

The bottom part says: They are just thoughts. If they are not helping it is okay to let them go

This one says Do you think you could make these lines relax? This is how I feel when someone tells me to relax

This is my answer to what a panic attack is like 

Thing of The Day April 28 a metaphor

I think I used the parade quote in a thing of the day, I definitely did in a drawing. It was let your thoughts move on like a parade. But I have a different metaphor: It is more like a marathon. You have to validate your thoughts before they can go. If they can't it is almost like a false start and you have to start again.

What to Expect in a BPD friendship

So I have seen a lot of relationship articles but not many friendship articles. As someone with BPD I would know. So if someone makes a friend with BPD here is what to expect (obviously everyone is different but this is from my experiences)

• They play favorites, but that doesn't mean they don't like other people: I have a lot of friends but there are a few that are my favorites. When someone says that think of it as complementing them and not insulting you
• It's the wiring: A lot of the behaviors are biologically based what I mean by that is to people with BPD everyone else are the odd people the ones that do things weirdly. We are the normal ones. 
• They apologize a lot, get scared easily and don't want to upset you...which might end up upsetting you: So people with BPD a lot of them have had issues with abandonment. So they will do anything for you not to leave
• It is never "better": There is no medicine for BPD no magical wand but the point of this is BPD is always there and people with BPD can't really let their guard down.
• They expect a lot from you... but it goes both ways: So a lot is expected of people who have friends with BPD. But if the person with BPD can and you ask them they will do anything they can to help. 
• They almost feel with you: They like to see you happy they can be sad when you are sad. Everything is extreme. 
• It is black and white. This is one of the hardest ones. You are either a friend or you are not there is very little in between. 
• A lot of tangibleness: They like to have stuff to show they have a friend
• They are still people they might have different wiring but they are still people 
• You have to be sensitive: With everything being extreme the smallest thing can hurt them.
• They don't bite: Yes people with BPD have an illness but they are still people.
• Lastly, they are great friends. They are punctual loyal, great gift makers and really care about you. And if you are concerned and really trust them and want to help be a better friend ask if you can talk to their doctor. Most people won't allow you too but they will try to help. 

Have a good night

What's it like to be an impulsive obsessive doubter

So being impulsive is already kind of wacky.
You always have these ideas and they come right to you. Being impulsive stretches your mind. So when it comes to that being impulsive is great. But as an impulsive doubter that is different. Like I am doing this new project and yesterday I thought it was great and I got this sketchbook just for it and stuff. And today I was like I don't want to limit myself and I want to draw other things.
Being impulsive and obsessive means that you are like a kid a lot in the way that when you are young like kids always change what they want to be when they grow up every week. As a doubter usually after a day or two I start thinking what will others think?
So it is really hard in that way. So is it good?
Well I had never really thought that but in a way it is. I am always willing to jump in to new projects (once I make a decision to do it) and the ideas are always there. There are always projects that are incomplete so if you don't want to do a full project they are there. And because you are always doing new projects you are usually enjoying the project you are doing. So I guess like everything else there are good and bad things.