So just for people who are reading this for the first time the biggest thing with Borderline Personality Disorder is everything has an emotion. I feel that way when I do art.
I put as much as I can into every drawing. Maybe not thinking slow but it is all me.
The drawings have character you can see it here is an example
So I did this in my art class. Everybody else's looked very polished. Then there is mine. You can see obvious things: The background is very day, I missed a few sports and very little bit of the bottom is actually white.
But I can honestly say that it is me. I put all my heart into it. Most of the marks are not gentle. We did a critique and my professor said what do you think of your drawing and you have to understand to me a lot of the other drawings looked like they could be in books and then there is mine. I said I feel like I was a bull in a China shop. While I don't think it was taken this way I didn't mean it to be bad. It is truly me.
This is true with all my drawings, paintings and art pieces. They are not perfect (hence the name of this blog the imperfect artist). But I can truly say they are me.
It happened again this week. My professor said for the project I should take my glasses off and I said professor that is not me.
Still life drawing is supposed to be so objective and exact. Well not for me. I put all my emotion into it. That won't change.
I think my mental health has a bunch to do with this. My piece doesn't have to be perfect and I don't want it to be. Every piece I do shows how far I have come.
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